The Psychology of Resolutions
Why We Make Them (and Why We Break Them)
Introduction
It’s January 1st. The air is filled with optimism, and many of us are armed with a list of resolutions. But by February, many of those lists are gathering dust. Why? New year is traditionally the time (at least in the West) for setting resolutions. It might be for better fitness, giving up alcohol or tobacco, or losing weight – new year, new start. When people making resolutions were asked how confident they were about keeping them, most were really confident – males more so than females. However, after just three months, the majority had given up, and by December, just 1% (that’s right, one percent) had followed through.
What happened? Perhaps this is also your experience – and if so, you are certainly not alone. In this blog post, I will explore the psychological factors behind why we make and break resolutions and begin to explore how we can be more successful. The more we understand the psychology behind resolutions, the better we can help ourselves. In fact, I would say that understanding is crucial for setting realistic goals and increasing the likelihood of success.
Why We Make Resolutions: The Appeal of a Fresh Start
The Fresh Start Effect: Human behaviour is quite fascinating. We don’t like mess. And somehow, having a clean slate makes things easier – but a clean slate can be anything – a new day, a new week, month, or year. It’s as if we are drawing a line under everything that has gone before. We could, of course, be imaginative and decide, “at the beginning of the next hour,” “When I have finished THIS cigarette”…anything. We can be complicit in tricking our brains. And that’s perfectly acceptable – you create the structure, nobody else.
Desire for Self-Improvement and Hope and Optimism: The new year symbolises hope and optimism, igniting our inherent desire for self-improvement. We all want to be better versions of ourselves, to overcome our perceived shortcomings, faults, or inadequacies. New Year’s resolutions provide a perfect opportunity to address these. Fireworks that light up the sky at the strike of midnight on 31st December, displaying complex patterns of colours, can symbolise for us new hope and optimism for the future. Now is the time for a fresh start and a chance for positive change. Everything is possible, and we can feel unstoppable!
Why We Often Break Resolutions: Common Psychological Barriers
Unrealistic Expectations: However, setting overly ambitious or unrealistic goals can lead to discouragement and ultimately failure. Often, the problem is not the ideal that we are aiming for, but rather the timeline we set to achieve it, the underestimation of the difficulty, the temptations we will face, and what we will do if we slip and fall. Do we have a plan B? While the comedy in the line, “There is no plan B,” is undeniable when uttered by The A Team’s Hannibal Smith, it is not useful in the real world.
Lack of Clear Planning: If you don’t know how you are going to reach a goal, you are not going to reach it. Having a concrete plan and specific steps makes achieving your resolutions possible. If the steps you write down seem too big, break them down even further into small, manageable chunks. If they are TOO easy, you won’t feel motivated; if they are too difficult, you will likely give up!
Relying on Willpower Alone: There is a lot of talk about having willpower, but it is often overemphasised. It is far more important to have a clear reason for doing what you are doing. Know the reason why you want to stop smoking, for example. “I’m not going to smoke anymore” is not good enough! Better is, “I want to feel healthier, be able to walk or run without being breathless. I want to enjoy time with my kids. I want to save money to go on a holiday…” You will have your own reasons: the clearer you make them, the more you can build a POSITIVE picture of the future, the more you will be motivated to implement changes.
Fear of Failure: We can be paralysed by the fear of failure, and this can prevent us from taking action or persisting when faced with challenges. If you change this thought to, “The only way I will fail is if I don’t try – even one step towards my goal is positive,” it can make a world of difference. Each time we fall, fail, or mess up is a sign that we have started to change. Make the next second or next minute your clean slate to restart. Remember, it’s OK not to be perfect; it’s OK not to get things right the first time (or second, or third, or fourth!). There is no limit set for you for how many times you can try again.
Cognitive Biases: Our brains often lead us astray with illogical thinking patterns. We need to spot when this happens (and this happens far more than you want to believe or admit to). Here are a couple of common cognitive traps:
Present Bias: We tend to prioritise immediate gratification over long-term rewards. Having that bar of chocolate right now feels so good! It hits lots of right spots all at once, and it does it IMMEDIATELY. At this point, our brain has conveniently put to one side the fact that the chocolate isn’t aiding us in hitting our long-term goal, which is actually far more important to us.
Optimism Bias: We like to kid ourselves that the odds are in our favour. It’s the reason why we gamble, take risks, or believe that even though everybody else failed doing something, we are different. It’s a tendency to overestimate the likelihood of positive outcomes and underestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes.
Lack of Self-Efficacy: Henry Ford once said, “Whether you believe you can or whether you believe you can’t, you are right!” If we believe we can achieve something, we are more likely to persist in difficult times. When tough times arise – and they will for everyone – those who think they can’t manage are more likely to throw their arms in the air and give in. However, those who believe that they can do something are more likely to press on, be more resourceful, seek help, and keep on going. When I have clients who tell me what they can’t do, we sit together and work out what they can do. This is not just being positive for the sake of it; it changes our whole way of thinking about ourselves and the world around us.
Conclusion
In summary, remember these key points for making your resolutions stick: set realistic goals, have a plan of action, have a strong reason why, embrace mistakes and own them (freely admit to fouling up and starting again – it takes away the feeling of shame), be mindful of cognitive biases that can distort your thinking, and know that you can do this. The more you understand how your brain works and how you might sabotage yourself, the more effective you can become (not just at hitting your immediate goals, but in navigating life generally).