Finding Home

The Challenge and Beauty of Belonging in a Moving World

COVID-19 taught us a lot, or if it didn’t teach us, it hammered it home. One of those things is our deep craving for connection and belonging. Remember the news reports of people on balconies in high-rise apartments singing together? There was an incredible sense of connection and belonging to a wider group. Under normal circumstances, those people might never have spoken to each other, yet there they were, reaching out (as much as allowed) and doing something they might never have dreamt of before.

Our society is more transient now than ever. People move not just across cities for jobs, away from their closest families, but travel the world. I work within the international teaching community, a group that rarely stays in one place for very long. Seeing new countries and experiencing new cultures are a couple of the reasons why they choose this path. Whether the move feels forced (because of company relocation, for example) or it’s a choice, feeling like you belong is important.

The Importance of “Seasonal” Friendships

I used to be quite envious of those with long-lasting relationships. They could just pick up the phone or pop around for a chat, sharing a long history and reminiscing over a beer. There’s something undeniably beautiful about that. However, I’ve learned that this isn’t the only way to exist in the world. Short-lived friendships and relationships can be just as meaningful and impactful. Who says friendships have to last forever?

The Power of Presence

Rather than mourn the fact that we might have few (if any) long-standing relationships, or long for the day when that will happen, we can learn to simply be present in the moment. Enjoy what we have, here and now. Really see the person who stands before us and revel in their presence. This being present strengthens connections and appreciation for the current experience, reducing the sting of future goodbyes. We become thankful for what we were given (and what we were able to give).

Cultivating Belonging on the Move

What can we do to cultivate our feeling of belonging despite frequent moves?

1. Stay in touch with old friends! Social media offers so many ways to do this now. You don’t have to wait for a formal invitation or arrange a meeting. Give a WhatsApp call. If they’re busy, they won’t answer (and yes, time zones exist, but we can manage!).
2. Join some local groups. Put yourself out there. Whether it’s dancing, Tai Chi, or hiking, you’ll already have something in common with those attending.
3. Consider volunteering in the local community. Doing things with others, having a common goal, strengthens bonds between us.

Belonging is rarely about a physical place, but about the connections we make. We belong when we are present, when we give ourselves fully rather than holding back. Of course, there’s always the chance of getting hurt as people move in and out of lives. But the alternative is to create our own borders, acting as guards who don’t let people in and don’t give ourselves permission to reach out. Which would you choose?